Do I accept this friend request?
I know I have faced this dilemma many times when the request is from a client or the person 2 offices down the passage. It’s a question many of us are asked and with more than one billion people active on Facebook its inevitable that our virtual lives will intersect with our professional ones at some point.
Social media has created a minefield of etiquette based questions that we are still learning to navigate in the workplace. Is our trepidation over the “accept friend request” justified?
I find it really hard especially as most companies have Facebook pages where they invite staff and clients to like and follow – it’s almost like throwing out the welcome matt but we are not sure if we should cross that threshold.
Why you shouldn’t be Facebook friends:
- It’s the wrong social platform
Some say we should just ignore or refuse requests from co-workers or clients. The rationale is that we have family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and an extended social network. Google+ tried to deal with this complexity by creating different circles you could choose to share with. Facebook, because of its origins as a social tool for students, glossed over these distinctions. Consequently, there is only one level of connection on Facebook and this can lead to problems if we don’t manage our profiles professionally.
You could lose your job:
- In recent South African history, we all know of the one or two landmark cases of people who lost their jobs after having a rant on Facebook, often nothing to do with their company but the association was so toxic the companies were left with little option but to sever all ties with these employees.
According to an article published in Time magazine, work friends shouldn’t be Facebook friends because through Facebook, one’s personality, self-image and interests are exposed, and these details can affect how we are perceived by those we work with and for.
I also know of many recruiters that don’t consider a background check complete until they have had a good look at your social media profile – that means before you’re even interviewed in person you are being assessed. The stakes are much higher when trying to make your way up the corporate ladder. A good rule of thumb is you should “avoid” friending your direct manager because of their potential influence on your career trajectory.
Why you Should be Facebook friends:
- Create strong bonds.
Normally, the longer you work at a company the closer you’ll become to some of your co-workers and managers which means that friending them on social media is a natural progression. Crating bonds outside of the workplace not only helps to strengthen relationships within teams, but also create comradery which can lead to a happier working environment. Interestingly, statistically employees who are most unwilling to develop workplace friendships are also among the least likely to be promoted.
- Improve Communication
When an employee connects with a boss on Facebook, the social interaction can improve overall communication and lead to a better working relationship. It allows us to tackle small talk more effectively and opens the door for meaningful conversations.
- Improve perception
Giving co-workers a glimpse into your personal life will help them form a well-rounded view of you. You may be modest about your achievements at work and be a marathon runner outside the office which no-one would know unless they were following you on Facebook. The same applies to management, when employees see that you volunteer at an animal shelter on your weekends it can make you more relatable to them.
Ultimately, social media humanises us and magnifies our personalities. Sharing this not only enhances how we are perceived but also helps us be seen as the amazing multi-dimensional beings we are.
Four Ways to decide if you should be Facebook Friends:
- Examine your work culture:
Your companies culture should be a clear indication of how to proceed when trying to decide whether to accept or reject Facebook requests. Is it a casual environment? Is there a strong focus on relationships and team building? Do you socialise regularly? Is there an open-door policy? These are factors that can and should influence your decision.
- Examine your Facebook page
Have a good look at the last 20 posts you have shared or liked. If you feel comfortable with the way they represent you and wouldn’t mind your boss or colleagues seeing them, you’re probably in a good position to send or receive friend requests from them.
- What do you have in common?
Just because you spend 8 hours a day with someone does not mean you’re friends. Common courtesy dictates that while at work we interact in a professional manner with co-workers. If you share an interest outside of work such as photography, pottery or say kitesurfing it is likely you will become friends outside the office anyway in which case it makes perfect sense to be Facebook friends.
- Do you share work related content on Facebook?
I am guilty of this and will often share articles to my page so that I can go back later when I have time to read them. If your page is a good mix of private and professional posts you might consider accepting that request from your co-worker or client.
The bottom line is that there is no one-size fits all when it comes to social media. Just make sure your privacy settings are maximised. You can never underestimate the positive impact of building better relationships with your co-workers.